Tuesday, November 27, 2012

O Sleepless Night

This song is a parody of O Holy Night. When I first thought of writing a parody of this song, I wanted to write about how I thought Mary's first night with Jesus really went. (Him crying, being hungry and her not getting much sleep, etc.) However, I couldn't figure out a way of doing this without being irreverent. So, I decided to base the song on my own experience. Besides, who knows, maybe he was a perfect baby.

I wrote the first two verses of this song based on a real night I experienced with my 2 boys shortly after my second son was born. I kept racking my brain trying to think of words to the third verse. I finally wrote the third verse when the insomnia of my current pregnancy hit me.

Funny thing is, I'm due with our third child in 2 weeks so I will most likely have a lot of nights like this in the near future. At least I'll have something to sing to myself to maybe make me laugh instead of cry.....

I hope you like it! Let the Christmas season begin!

Thursday, November 15, 2012

Constantly Abide

I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing – John 15:5

This last spring, a mom's group I attend went through a shortened version of The Freedom Series by Neil Anderson. Each of us went through the material individually. As we were going through the series I found a book we had at our house titled "Ridding Your Home of Spiritual Darkness". The author talked about things in our home that we may not even realize hold demonic power over us.

Through reading the book, God revealed that I needed to get rid of some things in my home. I had been working with my counselor on my self-esteem and I felt God wanted me to get rid of things I had earned that had either raised my self-esteem to where I thought I was better than others or had lowered my self-esteem by reminding me that I was not as successful as I had once been. So, I began throwing things away. It felt great.

God also had me give up a position I held in a local ministry. I thought He had me give up the position because He wanted me to focus on the things I was working with my counselor and to give more time to my family. However, recently He is showing me that He had me give it up because I was finding my identity in it.

Instead of being a servant leader I was striving for respect from others, recognition for the things I was doing, and just plain focusing on the way others thought of me instead of what part I needed to play in God's plan for the ministry.

When I thought God was taking the position away because He wanted me to work on other things, I was fine. When my heart hurt because I wasn't as involved I thought he just wanted to fill that space with the other things he brought into my life. I thought, "I need to do those other things he wants me to focus on and my feelings of being left out won't be there." I was wrong.

God doesn't want me to do anything. (That is not a call to be lazy and do absolutely nothing.) He wants me to rely on Him for my identity and to constantly abide in Him. He wants me to not seek after things that I can do to make me feel worthy. That is His doing. He did it on the cross. I am a new creation and special because I belong to Him. It's not because of anything I can do. It's only because of what He has done. And I can only be helpful to His plan if I stay connected to Him and let Him work through me.

As I focus on God and others I am able to see more of God's plans unfold. And His plan is always better.

What struggles keep you from focusing on others?