Wednesday, October 31, 2012
This week has been one of THOSE weeks. I realized this last weekend that I have entered the stage of the pregnancy where I am done being pregnant. Not that I want to have her early, I just don't want to be pregnant anymore. As I'm telling my husband this Monday afternoon on a "can you please come home a little early" phone call about how I am starting to think, "What in the world were we thinking getting pregnant again?!" He says, "And we want another one!" I said, "Don't you even mention that right now!" Of course, I am kidding. I already love Allison, our baby's name, and am so excited to meet her. And, yes, we want a fourth child. However, I will be excited when I can stand on my own two feet again without being in fear that I will fall. Speaking of falling.....
I have not had such a hard time keeping my balance in any other pregnancy than this one. If you've seen me in person, you know I don't move slowly. I am a fast walker...and a fast talker:) Not even including falling in the tub, I have fallen the last 3 Mondays. Not sure what it is with Mondays. I really do love Mondays. It's like the slate has been wiped clean and I get another week to do my best. I guess I get a little too excited and forget to slow down.
It's also frustrating when things seem to be going really great and then something just sets me off. I woke up on Monday feeling pretty anxious about a few different things. I was journaling and the verse "Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you" (1 Peter 5:7) popped into my mind. So, I listed all my "anxieties" and gave them to Him. We had a great morning. I was able to get some cleaning done, read to the boys and play blocks with them. I was feeling pretty tired right before nap time and thought, "I just need to get through reading them stories and then I can lie down on the couch." I had also been in the bathroom, somewhere I am often since there is only 6 weeks to go in this pregnancy, praising the Lord for such a great morning and how He had helped me.
Then, Bruce pooped his diaper. Okay, not a big deal. I'll just change it. As I'm changing that diaper, Wayne announces that he needs to poop. Okay, not a big deal. "Wayne, go get on the toilet and don't play with the water," I say. "I won't mom," He says. (Yes, I have to give that warning because last week he had pooped and was wiping before I got in there. However, he wasn't totally wiping but had toilet paper half in the poop water and half wiping himself. Have I mentioned that potty training is my current torture chamber?)
After changing the diaper and getting in the bathroom with Wayne, Wayne realizes that Bruce is playing with his blocks. I try to reassure him that he can fix anything Bruce messed up when Bruce goes to a nap-Wayne doesn't take naps anymore. I thought that calmed him, but it didn't. Long story short, Wayne had a total meltdown, got poop on his face and when I tried to clean it off with soap and water the poor kid was gagging because he had his mouth open and I wasn't watching too closely, and honestly quite perturbed by this point. He did start laughing, but I accidentally squirted soap on him when I was washing my hands, because I was pushing the soap dispenser a little harder than needed, which sent him into another meltdown. I let him out of the bathroom and I just sat there and cried.
I was crying so hard I was just about hyperventilating. (Did I mention I'm DONE being pregnant with all the emotional swings that go with it?!?!?!) I could not believe that no less than 15 minutes ago I was praising the Lord for all His help and now I am on the bathroom floor having my own meltdown. I would have left the bathroom, but I couldn't quit crying. Okay it only lasted 5-10 minutes, but it felt like a long time. I was thinking, "What is going on. Do I need to get a part-time job, a housekeeper, more counseling?" Then I realized that I have not been taking care of me. Not in a selfish way, but in a healthy way. I have not had a break, a real break in a long time. It's funny how us moms can forget to take care of ourselves. It's not like we are "out of sight, out of mind." I'm always with me!
Well, Bruce finally gave up on being read to and put himself to a nap:) Wayne came to the bathroom door and told me I needed to be quiet with my crying because Bruce had fallen asleep. (Thank you, Wayne:) I got on the computer and hired a babysitter for Wed. I am going to go be by myself for 3 hours. I was so excited! So, I went in the living room with Wayne to relax. As I am standing in front of the TV, I lose my balance and fall hard enough to hurt my hip, back and give my knee a carpet burn through my pajamas! So, I definitely think getting excited and falling are linked together for me. So, no more getting really excited for the next 6 weeks! I will lower my expectations on being excited and just settle for expressing my happy emotions with my words only and not my body!
As I woke this morning a word picture came to my mind. I drew it and would post it, but you don't need to see anymore pictures that look like a preschooler drew them:) The picture was of a fire with lighter fluid on one side and a fire extinguisher on the other. The fire represents my emotions and the emotions of others: children, friends, other family, etc. My prayer is, pregnant or not, to be the fire extinguisher to help calm the situations more than allowing my emotions to get out of control and make the situation worse. The first part of Proverbs 15 says, "A gentle answer turns away wrath,
but a harsh word stirs up anger." Lord, please help me to be a gentle pregnant lady and not a harsh one.
Now, I wonder if they have anymore fireman outfits since it's Halloween. If I wait until tomorrow I can get a discount.....
Thursday, October 25, 2012
I know this post is long overdue, but what would you expect from a blog titled "Moms for Lowered Expectations"?
So, I took a picture on Wayne's first day of preschool. Of course Bruce had to have a backpack on too. They look so adorable....okay, I'm a little bias:)
Then, my husband came home and happened to be browsing on my Facebook page before bed. He commented on all the "first day of school" pics that were posted. I told him I also took a picture of our kids. He said, "Yeah, but did you see the cool picture of the kid holding the sign that it was his first day of Kindergarten?" I replied, "Yes I did and no I did not do that." He thought the sign was really cool. (Thanks a lot Amber Bray for raising the bar!)
We decided it would be funny to do a 2nd day of Preschool sign. Well, it was taking me a while to get used to getting the boys ready and out the door so we ended up with a 5th day of Preschool sign. Now, I thought it shouldn't be too hard to get him to just stand there with the sign. However, he had another piece of artwork he also wanted to hold in the other hand and we had to shake them in the air.
Below is the pic where I was looking at him with my serious face saying, "Please just hold the sign up so I can see it." He was giving me his serious face back:)
Then, the boys had to fight over the sign because it is such a cool toy:)
Here is the sign, since I realized after taking the pic that you can't read anything on it:
The bottom part reads, "Mom finally got us all ready on time so we could take this stress-free pic with this really cool sign!" "Stress-free", that's funny.....because all mornings before school are stress-free, right?
So what kind of funny getting ready in the morning story do you have?
(I think I fixed the settings on the blog so anyone can leave a comment, if you want. You don't have to have a Google account anymore. Just to let you know:)