Be Alert!

I felt God speaking to me a while back that I needed to stop defending myself with others. I didn't totally understand what He meant at the time. I felt Him saying that if I had a problem with something someone said or I wanted to snap back, I needed to come to Him with the issue and figure out why it was bothering me so bad or just why it made me so upset.

Recently, I realized my first form of communication is to fight, to defend myself. Some of those who know me may say, "No way. You're being dramatic." However, if you ask anyone who has ever lived in close quarters with me, most of them will agree with me. I will think through conversations and come up with my "comeback" if the other person starts to give me attitude.....as if that is going to solve the problem!

I have felt like it has been hard for me to "come into" who I am as a mom. The authority I have as the mom and wife of this house. My husband kept telling me, "You are the woman of this house." I thought I felt that way because I am much younger than him, 9 years, and still kind of felt like I was "playing house" instead of actually "living house". But my defending tendency partly stems from low self-confidence in general, something I'm working on.

This week I realized I do it in my parenting. One of my sons disobeys and my first thought is, "Oh yeah, how about this...I'll just reprimand you. And, I guess if this is what you want to do all day I can play that game." I'm realizing it's not a fight with them. I am the parent. I am in charge. I can say, "No you do not behave that way," and then discipline without getting so emotional.

Also, that form of communication puts me at odds with my kids. I get frustrated that they won't just obey so we can have a good day. When really it's the devil I am fighting because he would love nothing more than for our family to not be happy. He would love nothing more than for me to think my children are the problem. He would love for me to not gain self-confidence in who I am as their Christian mother and my husband's Christian wife.

As I journaled about this the other day the Lord brought to mind the passage in Ephesians about putting on the armor of God.


Ephesians 6:10-18 says:
¹⁰ Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. ¹¹ Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. ¹² For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. ¹³ Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. ¹⁴ Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, ¹⁵ and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. ¹⁶ In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. ¹⁷ Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.

¹⁸ And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people.


Being alert. I like that.